DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
