isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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