I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
