you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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