My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
