he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
