I showed him my bush... on skype.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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