dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
