Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
