I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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