C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
