wat bout pragnant strippers??
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
