I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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