Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He passed out mid-signature
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Watching her eat just hurts me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
