i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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