Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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