I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
