Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I could fuck to npr.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
