half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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