Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
