Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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