Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize