at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
