we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
