That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i will never coherently bang her
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Randomize
