On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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