Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
