what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
