she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
