Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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