I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
