I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
