trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
