mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
