i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
