We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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