Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
