She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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