I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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