whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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