only if we run a train.
done.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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