Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
And then he peed in my hair
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