The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize