I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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