u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize