I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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