Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize