I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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