Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
