this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
