you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
