yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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