ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
