I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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