I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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