Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
