peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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