Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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