I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
