i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
