can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
