She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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