I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
