I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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