I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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