So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
