I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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