"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
