We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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