I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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