sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize