Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
