So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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