thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
